


fake love

by MagaraPsotny



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Feelings, M/M, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, vague spoilers for part 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 07:35:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16404074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagaraPsotny/pseuds/MagaraPsotny
Summary: It started simply enough.He was hurting. He needed someone to reach out to him. He needed a friend. He needed someone by his side.Yamato didnt stop to consider this applied to both of them. Yamato didnt stop to think where this was going. Yamato didnt stop.And he should have.Or: in which yamato develops an unhealthy fixation on sougo, and the mess that occurs from there.





	1. Runaways

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first fic for my otp somehow ended up being a feelings dump instead of smut or something... regardless, I hope you enjoy!

It started simply enough.  
  
He was hurting. He needed someone to reach out to him. He needed a friend. He needed someone by his side.  
  
Yamato didnt stop to consider this applied to both of them. Yamato didnt stop to think where this was going. Yamato didnt stop.  
  
And he should have.  
  
But what can you do when you're already running? Already sprinting? When your lungs are full and the adrenaline is pumping, why stop when all it's going to do is hurt, exhaust you, knock you over.  
  
Yamato was always running. It's all hes ever known how to do. If you run, you keep getting ahead in life, right?  
  
He noticed Sougo was running, too.  
  
Sougo ran in a different pace however. He ran, but he kept stopping for others. Poor move, Sou.  
  
When they first joined IDOLiSH7, Yamato wasnt really sure who he'd really get along with. It's not like he was really here to bond and make friends anyhow. He had one goal and he was going to run towards it, and no one was going to stop him.  
  
It didnt take long to get attached. Riku was so pure and optimistic, it stirred something in him, a kind of longing to change. Mitsuki had the same energy, but with less naivety. It was inspiring. Nagi was a fucking weirdo, but a hot one with a big heart. Iori, needs to calm down for his age. But his responsibility was pretty incredible, he'd make an even better leader. Tamaki... oh, Tamaki. He was like an annoying kid brother that was fun to tease, and yet... his honest way of life was refreshing to be around. So simple. Yamato tried to live a simplistic life but he probably could never be on that level.  
  
Sougo. Sougo wasnt who he expected to get closest to. He seemed kind of quiet and proper at first, but slowly revealed so much beneath that surface. So much that Yamato didnt think he'd connect with so deeply. So much he wasnt sure that he even wanted to connect to anyone with. But it was weirdly comforting. And he began to seek that comfort more and more, without realizing.  
  
It started after the pale-haired boy collapsed, and expressed that he wanted to quit. Hearing his anger towards his father, his situation, being disowned... Yamato wanted to know more. In a way it felt... cathartic, knowing there was someone who wasnt too different from him.  
  
The other boys left the room, Yamato lingering a few moments longer. He touched Sougo's arm gently.  
  
"Sou... I just... wanted to say... if you ever want to talk about this more... need someone to listen. Onii-san is more than happy to. Anytime you need."  
  
Sougo looked up at him in surprise.  
  
"Ah... thank you so much Yamato-san. I may have to take you up on that sometime. I really appreciate it." he responded, smiling gently. The older man's heart skipped a beat for a moment. He then squeezed the younger's arm gently.  
  
"Goodnight, Sou."

"Goodnight, Yamato-san."

  
  
A few nights later, Yamato heard a knock on his door.  
  
"Ah, Sou. Come on in."

"Please excuse me, Yamato-san." Sougo slipped in, and Yamato closed the door behind them.  
  
They sat together on the floor, Yamato sipping his beer as Sougo shifted, seeming nervous. He looked down at the floor, gulping, unable to find words. Yamato took this as his cue to start the conversation.  
  
"What's on your mind, Sou? Want to talk about your family? Take shots at your dad?" he joked. Sougo's shoulders relaxed and he let out a small chuckle. His purple eyes looked up to meet Yamato's dark ones through his soft white bangs. His stare looked so hurt and intense, Yamato stopped breathing for a moment and almost hugged him, but held back. No need for that right now.  
  
The two talked deep into the night, leaning against Yamato's bed. Sougo told him about his adventures in the few years he had in and out of school, his band, how much he loved and missed his uncle, and a little bit about his father. The two laughed on and off, Yamato gently placed his hand over Sougo's whenever he seemed he was going to tear up.  
  
"What about you, Yamato-san? You know a lot about me now, I want to hear about your life."

"Oh... ah. Maybe another time. It's getting late."

"Oh! You're right! I'm so sorry I kept you up so late!" Sougo said, standing up and bowing immediately. Yamato shook his head, smiling as he slowly got to his feet himself.

"Dont apologize. I had fun tonight, Sou. Thank you for coming by and trusting me with everything." He patted the shorter boy's head.  
Sougo looked up, and the two stood there in each other's space for a moment. Realizing they could only hear their breaths, and a hint of heartbeat, Yamato suddenly coughed.  
  
"A-anyway, we should get to bed. We have that shoot tomorrow."

"Ah, yes! Goodnight Yamato-san!" Sougo bowed again, walking towards the door.

"Night, Sou." The green-haired man opened the door, smiling gently. _I really need to make him break the bowing habit_ , he thought.

  
  
Sougo's nighttime visits started to become more regular. In fact, they were almost weekly. And somehow, Yamato always looked forward to them. A whole night where his own problems didnt cross his mind? Nights where he didnt have to figure out what he was going to do regarding the group? Nights he could go to sleep feeling good that he made someone feel better, more comfortable, more confident? Seeing Sou's gentle smile before knocking out? It was great.  
  
"You guys seem really close these days." Mitsuki said, putting on a shirt in the dressing room.

"Who?" asked Yamato.

"You and Sougo."

"Oh. Yeah I guess so." he shrugged.

"Are you guys..."

"Spit it out Mitsu." Yamato raised an eyebrow.

"... fucking."

Yamato choked on air, face burning.

"NO!!!"

"Well some nights I'm getting a late night snack and I see him leave your room so!!!"

"We just... talk okay!!! That's all we do!"  
  
Truth be told, it wasnt something that had crossed Yamato's mind yet. Not that he would be opposed to fucking Sou, that didnt sound so bad... although the boy would probably combust, or murder him, or both? Yamato shook his head, trying to clear those thoughts out. He was already just satisfied knowing the boy could rely on him, that he could make him feel good. His mind wandered again, thinking about making him feel good in other ways.  
  
"Okay you say that, but now you have this really perverted look on your face." Mitsuki grimaced.

"Shut up. We arent fucking. End of story." Yamato smacked him playfully and left the room.

"Sou-chan!!! Why are you always with Yama-san?! Its like he's your partner now, not me!"

"Tamaki-kun it's not like that... sometimes I just need another adult to talk to."

"I'm almost 18!"

"Yes, yes..."  
  
Yamato turned the corner to see Mezzo, lightly bickering. He swung his arms around them both.

"Are we fighting over me?" he asked, smirking.

"What grown-up things are you talking about with Sou-chan?!" demanded Tamaki.

"Tamaki, it's none of your business-"

"Sex." Yamato deadpanned. Tamaki froze.

"Oh... okay I get it Sou-chan." he scrunched his face. "I dont really want to talk about that with you at all." He slipped out from under Yamato's arm. "I'm gonna go eat pudding now, bye."

Yamato started laughing. "See you, Tama."

Meanwhile, Sougo was frozen as if he had been turned to stone. Yamato's arm still slung around him, he moved his face closer.

"You in there, Sou?"  
Sougo jumped and blinked, turning red.  
  
"Y-yes! But why did you say that?!" He covered his face with his hands.  
  
"Well I figured no matter how much teenage hormones are stirring through that boy, he wouldnt be interested in your sex life. It's like walking in on your parents."  
  
Sougo sighed, a little less flustered. "I really do feel like a parent sometimes..."  
  
"You and I both." Yamato replied fondly.  
  
"I hope you dont feel like that with me..." he mumbled, and Yamato tightened his half-hug on the boy.

"Not at all." he said quietly, close to Sougo's ear. The paler boy blushed, and Yamato let go.  
  
"I'm gonna grab a beer. Want one?"

"Nah, too early for me, thank you though Yamato-san. I'm going to go stretch for a bit. I'll see you tonight maybe?"

"Yeah, sounds good. Later, Sou." He clicked the tab open, sipping his drink.  


Left on his own, his thoughts went back to his friend. How warm he felt against him. His flustered face. The way he worried about being a burden to the older. He thought about what they might talk about tonight. Maybe Sougo would get emotional, maybe he'd crawl into Yamato's arms, maybe Yamato would cradle his face gently, maybe he'd kiss his forehead and tell him everything was okay, maybe theyd crawl into his bed together, hold each other through the night... maybe one of them would make a move, maybe he'd feel Sou's soft plush lips against his own-  
Yamato noticed he was starting to crush his beer can in his hand. Shit. Suddenly, he had an urge to go see Sougo.  
  
He wandered over to the practice room. Sougo was stretching with Riku, leaning against his back. Discomfort stirred in Yamato's chest, but he shrugged it off. Why would he be jealous of that? It's not like Riku was spending nights having deep talks with Sou. Riku wasnt the one helping Sou deal with his insecurities and issues. Riku wasnt the one saving Sougo. He wasn't special like Yamato.  
  
What the fuck?  
  
That was mean... Yamato hadnt even opened his mouth but he felt bad for thinking that way about Riku. Instead of greeting the two, he decided to leave.  
  
"Yamato-san?" Sougo's voice pulled him back. He turned.

"Hey Sou. Was just passing by. Hope you two have fun." He forced a smile.

"We will!" exclaimed Riku, beaming. "Have fun doing, whatever you're gonna go do!"  
Sougo nodded and smiled at him. Yamato returned it, and continued on his way.

 

  
"Let's drink tonight." said Sougo, a strangely determined gleam in his eye.

"I'm surprised you're offering that, Sou."

 "Just wanted to try it with just the two of us. Maybe we can play a game."

"Oh? Sounds fun. Let's do it."  
  
They played 20 questions with shots. If you decline to answer, you take a shot. So that's what Sou was after. He asked Yamato all kinds of personal questions he didnt want to answer. Yamato got drunker by the hour... shit. At this rate maybe he would give in. _Sou, you sly bastard._  
  
"Yamato-saaannnn... please you've. You've let me tell you so much. I just want... to do the same for you... let me help you too... please..." he rubbed his head into Yamato's shoulder. Yamato sighed and leaned his head on top of the tuft of white hair.  
  
"Sou... Sou I can't. I cant. I can't I cant I can't." He mumbled into Sougo's soft head.

"You dont.... trust me?" He sighed into Yamato's neck.

"No... no Sou it's not that... it's just better this way. It's better if I dont tell anyone."

"How is that better... you fucking hypocrite..." Sougo whispered up into his ear. His words had a bite to them, but he was still softly leaning into the older man.

"It just is... this way I dont... I dont need to think about it. I'd rather think about you, Sou." he says, tipping Sougo's chin up to face him.  
  
To his surprise, Sougo was starting to cry. "Yamato-san... is that all this is? Is that all I am to you...? I'm just an escape from facing your problems?"

"Sou! Sou, no, no that's not it at all, how can you think that? After everything I've done, we've done- I just want you to be happy! I want to see you happy!"

"But what about... you?" Sougo placed both of his hands on Yamato's flushed cheeks.

"If I get to see you happy... if I get to know that I helped you... if I am the cause of your happiness that's all I need. That's all I want right now. Just you. Who cares about me?" he shrugged, laughing. 

"I CARE!" Sougo shouted.

"Shh ahhh the others..." Yamato put his hand over the younger's mouth. Sougo bit. "Ouch! Sou!"

"Yamato-san. This... this isnt... right. This isnt healthy for you."

"Sou, I'm fine."

"No, you're not! You're not fine, Yamato-san!"

"How would you even know that!"

"Because we're the same! But the difference is that you wont talk to me! You wont tell me anything! You tell me to be more open, you tell me to come to you, you say I'm your fucking friend but you wont let me do the same for you. How is this friendship? How is this fair?"  
  
Yamato was sobering up quickly, yet he felt sick. Sougo's face was wet with tears. Damn this boy for reading him like a book. He knew Sougo was probably right but no way did he want to admit it. No way did he want to give this up. If he admits hes wrong, then he has to face himself. His feelings. Fuck that.  
  
"Sou just... just drop it. We're both tired and drunk let's just go to bed."

"Yamato-san I'm not dropping this. If you're not going to talk to me, then I'm not going to talk either. I'm out."

"Sougo, please, no dont go-"

"Goodnight, Yamato-san." Sougo seemed fairly sober by this point too, his tone icy. He shut the door, just short of a slam, leaving Yamato alone on his floor with empty glasses.  
  
Yamato cried himself to sleep.  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love yamato and sougo so dearly... they are both so complex and so similar so it was nice writing something where I could kind of work with that. I hope you enjoyed this first chapter!


	2. forever rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the conclusion! I had fun writing this, it was... really cathartic and just nice to write my two faves.

"You two look like shit." said Mitsuki, sipping some juice. Yamato plopped down next to him, holding his forehead.

"Just a little hangover, it's fine." 

Sougo walked past the table, grabbed some leftovers from the fridge, and left without a word.  
  
"Oh God. What happened? Sougo looked like he was going to set the whole room on fire with his mind."  
  
"Doesnt matter. Itd probably be better for everyone if I got burnt to a crisp, haha."  
  
"Yamato, your eyes are fucking swollen. What the hell happened? Did you fight? You two are the last people I'd expect to fight."  
  
"Yeah I think even we were under that impression." He sighed and put his head down on the table. "We fought." he then mumbled reluctantly.   
  
"Yamato. I know talking about feelings isnt your strong point. But I think we need to talk about Sougo." Mitsuki placed his hand on his shoulder firmly. Yamato groaned.  
  
"Fine..." he could manage that much he guessed. The two men headed to the shorter's room. 

"You can lay on my bed if you want."

"What are you, my therapist?" 

"Just shut up and lie down you hungover idiot."

"Yeah yeah..." Yamato climbed on the bed and rolled over to his side.

"So tell me how the hell you two ended up like this." Mitsuki said, sitting cross-legged on the floor, staring up at his friend curled up on his bed.

***  
  
"Rikkun... can you talk to Sou-chan I'm really scared. I've never seen him look like this before. And weve had a lot of fights. He looks... smad."

"Smad?"

"Sad and mad... I can deal with mad but this is... new."

"Okay... I'll try."  
  
"S-Sougo-san...?" Riku approached Sougo's room, knocking gently.

"Oh. Hi Riku-kun. Need something?" Sougo was usually the king of fake smiles but today he could barely force one.

"Can I come in...?"

"Yeah. Sorry for the mess."  
  
Riku entered, noticing tissues on the floor, and broken shards from a plate.   
"Sougo-san... are you okay...?" The two sat side by side on the purple bed.  
"No." Sougo sighed, honestly for once. Riku placed a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"What happened with Yamato-san?"   


***

"So, basically you became addicted to Sougo."

"Wow. That makes me sound like a complete trainwreck but I guess you could say that."

"I mean I can't lie. You kind of are. And that was really fucked up to do to another person, a friend, even. But I know you didnt mean to. I don't think anyone does, in these cases."

"Mm."

"But you need to fix this. Not just for the group. But for yourself. And for Sougo. If you really care for him as much as you've tried to show, you need to open up to him."

"Mmhmm."

"I wish you could just open up to all of us already, Yamato-san. I dont think whatever it is you dont want to share is as bad to us as you think it is. We all care about you, you're a great leader."

"Thanks..." he grumbled.

"I cant force you to open up to all of us right now. But I think Sougo, at the least, deserves to know. Please talk to him."  
  
Yamato rolled back over, facing Mitsuki.

"He already hates me at this point so I guess I've got nothing to lose." he drawled.

"I doubt he hates you, Yamato-san. I'm pretty sure its the opposite at this point."  
  
Yamato raised an eyebrow but chose not to respond. Slowly, he sat up.  
Mitsuki rose to his feet.   
  
"You can stay and rest here if you want."

"Nah I... I should go sleep in my room. Really shake this hangover off."

"And then you're going to talk to Sougo." 

"Yes mom."

"Shut up and get going, you log!" Mitsuki playfully pushed him towards the door.  
  
Yamato paused, and turned around. He wrapped his arms slowly around the shorter man.

"Mitsu...thank you. Really."

"Of course. You're one of my best friends too, you know."  
  
Yamato smiled slightly and left the room. He entered his own, flopped onto his bed and napped for the rest of the day.

***  
  
"Sougo-san... you love him?"

"I-I dont know." Sougo sniffled. "I thought I did, but if I was just being used... I don't know. The worst part is... I don't think he meant to do that to me. So I don't know how to feel."

Riku dabbed Sougo's eyes with a tissue, his other arm around the elder's waist.

"I dont think Yamato-san meant to either. He's not that kind of guy. It sounds like he got caught up in his own head... but he definitely needs to apologize to you."  
Sougo nodded, leaning into Riku.  
  
"For now I think you just need rest Sougo-san. I can spoon you if you like! It's a good thing we have today off." 

"I appreciate that Riku, but I don't want to take up any more of your time off..."

"Let me stay for a little bit longer. I don't mind."

"Okay."  
The two lay down, and Riku smuggled against Sougo's back. Sougo sighed into the warmth.

"Thank you Riku. I'm so grateful we're friends."

"Of course Sougo-san! I love you!"

  
  
Sougo woke up alone, but was grateful Riku probably stayed until he fell asleep. All of the trash and broken plate pieces on the floor were gone. He definitely would repay the redhead somehow.   
  
There was a knock on the door. Sougo got up and walked over slowly. He opened the door, nervous, but calmed upon seeing Tamaki's face.  
  
"Are you okay, Sou-chan?" He asked, worry all over his face. 

"I'm doing a little better, thank you Tamaki-kun."

Tamaki stepped inside and gave Sougo a warm hug.

"Tamaki-kun?"

"I was worried too, yknow? Being smad must really suck. And I know you really like Yama-san."

Sougo blushed slightly but leaned into the hug.

"Thank you Tamaki-kun."

"I also brought you pudding."

"Th-thank you?"

"I also. Brought him."

"Him?"

"Yeah! Wait- YAMA-SAN GET BACK HERE!!!"

Tamaki's long arm was fast enough to grab the older man in time. "No more running!" He whined, and then pushed Yamato into Sougo, shutting the door on both of them, ignoring the fact that he had knocked them both over.  
  
"Nice one Tamaki!"

"Thanks Mikkun!" The two exchanged a high five.   


On the opposite side of the door, Sougo was trapped beneath Yamato's body.

"Shit, I'm sorry Sou, are you okay?" He got up quickly, trying to grab Sougo. Sougo brushed his hand away gently and got up on his own.

"Nothings broken. Physically at least." He gave Yamato a look.  
  
"Sou... Sougo. Sougo I'm so sorry. Im so sorry about everything I've done to you. Im so sorry I used you to cope with my own bullshit. Im sorry that I wasnt a good friend. I'm... I'm sorry I've kept things from you when I've had you pour your heart out to me. I'm so sorry. And you dont have to forgive me. I just. You deserve better. You deserve so much better." he breathed, looking right into Sougo's eyes, but then looked down at his hands, afraid of where things would go from here.  
  
"I liked you, Yamato-san."

"Wh...at."  
  
"I'd never had anyone come to me like that before. Put me first, hear out my problems, willingly. Push me to be the person I wanted. Help me be more assertive. Doing... everything for me... but not asking for anything in return... but I realize that's... not a healthy thing to be in love with. So I wanted.... I wanted to know about you. I wanted to learn all about you so I could fall in love with you for you, and not what you'd done for me."  
  
"Sou..." Yamato breathed.  
  
"But you pushed me out... you rejected that, and then you told me that I was basically just a source of distraction and happiness... maybe in some ways, that could be flattering but it just... hurt. I thought we were more equal than that, that we could be more than that."  
  
"Wow I just... I didn't think anyone would want that from me. I was so in my own head, I couldn't even see how unhealthy my feelings were. I...I thought I liked you, Sou, but I was just chasing this... projection of myself. Something that let me keep running away."  
  
Sougo moved closer, his knees now brushing Yamato's. He took Yamato's hand in his.  
  
"Stop running. You dont really want to keep running, do you?"

Yamato swallowed.

"No... I don't."  
  
"Then stop here, with me. I've been running too, but I stopped. For you." he smiled sadly. Yamato stared at him.   
  
"Okay. Okay, for you, I'll stop. But if you never want to speak to me again after this, well. I warned you?"  
  
"I think at this point theres not much more you can say to turn me away." chuckled Sougo.  
  
"Okay." Yamato took a deep breath. And he stopped. He stopped and he told Sougo about his family, about how quickly his happy childhood evolved into a bitter one. Sougo held his hand tighter. He told Sougo how angry hed been, how resentful, the reason he joined the idol industry to begin with. He told Sougo how he changed his mind, how the boys changed his heart, how he felt rotten for joining for the reason he did. How Sougo changed his heart, too.  
  
Yamato was staring down at their hands at this point, but slowly raised his head to look at Sougo. Sougo looked so sad.  
  
"You... you're an... idiot." Sougo choked out.

"Don't have to tell me twice." Yamato shrugged. 

"No, I mean... god, Yamato-san. You could have told all of us sooner, that's nothing to be ashamed of. And... after everything -I've- told you! You could have told me so much sooner... Yamato-san..."  
  
"Wait... so you dont think I'm awful and selfish?"

"No! Of course not! You even said you came around to all of us... and you should know better than anyone how well I understand the resentment..."  
  
It was Yamato's turn to grip Sougo's hand tightly.

"I'm sorry. And thank you... for accepting all this. And for accepting me after everything I've done to you..."

"I never said I accepted your apology."

Yamato's heart stopped. Sougo then giggled.

"I'm kidding. I do. Its going to take bit to go back to how things were but... I want to." He began rubbing gentle circles into Yamato's hand with his thumb.

"God Sou, I almost started crying, that was so scary."

"Sorry." he chuckled again. "A little payback."

"Jeez..."  
  
The two were still slumped over on the floor together, knees still touching, still holding each other's hands. Sougo leaned forward, so his forehead touched Yamato's. Yamato's dark green locks tickled Sougo's cheeks as he looked up into the man's eyes. Yamato's smaller eyes poured into his through his glasses.   
  
"I think...after finally starting to learn more about the real you..." Sougo whispered, his nose starting to brush against Yamato's. "I probably could fall in love with you."

"Yeah?" Yamato grinned, inching closer, his breath warm on Sougo's lips.

"Yeah." And then, the tiny gap between their lips was closed. The kiss was soft, and warm, and forgiving. They stayed like that for a few minutes, kissing each other softly and slowly. Sougo then pulled back, hands still in Yamato's, blushing furiously but not breaking eye contact. 

Yamato sat there, with his mouth slightly open.   
  
"I think... I could fall in love with you for real too, Sou." and pulled him back in for another kiss.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap! I considered putting smut somewhere in here but it just never worked out. I also almost made a sad ending but I'm such a sucker for happy endings I couldnt go through with it... I hope it was okay! Hopefully my next yamasou will be happier and spicier (or I'll just draw LOL I've been a bit blocked lately)
> 
> If you love yamasou, yamato, sougo, or i7 in general hmu on Twitter @ frubunny


End file.
